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"Should" and "could" - Ashtanga Yoga with Ryan Spielman
I was touched by this email I received from a very dear friend and Yoga student. I would like to share it with you…
Dear Teacher,
I have been wanting to write this to you for a few weeks now, but somehow never found the right moment.
Because of you and your teachings, I find my morning practice very soothing and invigorating at the same time, both physical and intellectually. Although you are teaching me about how to go about a certain asana, the words you say actually apply to a great many things in life, and they have helped me to overcome many problems I encounter in my daily life.
A few weeks ago I asked about how an asana should be properly done, and you replied that it “could” be done in a certain way. It was very illuminating! By substituting the word “should” with “could”, you took away all the anxiety, stress and unreal expectations from me. “Should” implies a duty, an entitlement, a must…which all cause stress because I think if it doesn’t happen, then I’d be cheated out of something unfairly.
Whereas “could” implies a possibility, a potential, a hope…something I can work toward. And if I’m dilligent enough, I might achieve it one day, but while working toward it I’ll be improving everyday. This enlightenment made me realise that I am in control, I can do it, maybe not now, maybe never quite like how it’s done on the books, but tomorrow I can always be better than how I am today. “Could” also means it’s my own responsibility to make it happen.
So I started substituting “should” with “could” in various usually stressful situations, and voilà!! My mood improved instantly, nothing irritates me anymore, the positive energy sweeps away the negative one and I’m happy again! Magic!